Why do we find it challenging to utter the phrase, ‘I don't know?’ In leadership roles, there's often a pressure to have all the answers, as if uncertainty is a sign of weakness. However, hiding our lack of knowledge can lead to hastily provided, potentially inaccurate responses. Let's explore the challenges and concerns of admitting ignorance and the remarkable benefits of embracing this vulnerability.
Challenges and Concerns with Using the Phase.
1. Overcoming the Fear of Incompetence. Admitting not knowing can make us feel vulnerable, especially when we think we should have the answers. Some of us carry childhood experiences of being shamed for not knowing; a fellow classmate or teacher who made an example of us, so we may have a reluctance to appear unprepared or inexperienced.
2. Dealing with Vulnerability. It's uncomfortable to operate from ignorance, as we often prefer to showcase our strengths. Acknowledging gaps in our knowledge can sting our pride and challenge our sense of competence.
Despite these genuine concerns, the upsides of saying "I don't know" far outweigh the downsides. Let’s explore the benefits of embracing uncertainty:
1. Casts a Perception of Being Genuine and Trustworthy. Admitting uncertainty comes across as sincere. Conversely, pretending to know when we do not erode trust. Some people speak so much and show an abundance of confidence, but that should not be confused with competence. The babble hypothesis proposes that people who talk more in groups, no matter what they say, are more likely to be considered leaders by group members. So extroverted people will talk more and consequently be considered leaders, but it is only a matter of time before people are on to their empty assurances. To gain respect, it is better to show yourself as a straight shooter and not someone who makes things up along the way.
2. Increases Credibility and Relationships. People tend to trust individuals who are honest about their limitations. Saying ‘I don't know’ can strengthen trust with colleagues, clients, and superiors. When you pretend, you can harm relationships. Wharton Professor and Author Adam Grant tells a story of when he was in his mid-20s and was asked to teach a class on motivation to about 50 Air Force Generals. At the end of the first session, he got harsh feedback. One person said, “There was more knowledge in the audience than on the podium.” Another added, “I got nothing from this session, but I trust the instructor got useful insights.” Grant was devastated and wanted to quit but already committed to a second session with another group a week later. He asked around to find out the one thing he could change in the next session, and they all said how he introduced himself. Instead of pretending he knew everything in a room full of experts, he showed himself as somebody trying to establish his credentials. So, when he introduced himself, he opened with, “I know what you are thinking: what can I learn from this professor who is 12 years old.” After a long silence, somebody broke the ice and said, “You got to be at least 13.” The room laughed and created a much better beginning, which led to higher ratings the second time. It is because it is better to admit what he did not know than to claim he knows a lot of stuff or provide speculative information because that would damage his credibility.
3. Empowers Others. By recognizing boundaries, we invite others to step up and contribute their expertise. It encourages others to think critically and share their knowledge, which leads to more robust discussions and better decision-making. Also, when we feel like we do not need to have all the answers and our team is taking on more of the work, we can be freed to focus on unblocking and engaging in more strategic work that only we can do, and that pushes the organization forward. Alan Mullaly, CEO of Ford Motor Company and Former President of Boeing, said that the job of a leader is not to come in with all the answers. It is to find the people in the organization who have the answers and make a path clearer so they can excel.
4. Cultivates Teamwork. Acknowledging we lack answers creates an environment where colleagues feel comfortable doing the same. This open environment invites various people to share and be free with their disclosures, even if they are unorthodox or outlandish, which usually leads to the most creative and innovative ideas. A culture of teamwork is created, where individuals support each other and collectively seek solutions, ultimately enhancing organizational effectiveness.
5. Avoids Giving Wrong Information. Offering inaccurate information can lead to misunderstandings, miscommunications, and costly mistakes. Saying ‘I don't know’ prevents the spread of incorrect information. Most people are not expecting immediate answers, so we can take that pressure off ourselves and trade fast answers with sound decision-making and more accurate ones, which will build credibility.
6. Alleviates Stress. Pretending to know something when we do not can lead to unnecessary stress. We can worry ourselves with these questions: Are they going to ask a follow-up question? Are they going to offer contradictory information? When am I going to get exposed, and what will be the consequences? Admitting uncertainty relieves this pressure, allowing us to focus on finding accurate solutions rather than maintaining a facade.
7. Fosters Learning and Humility. Admitting your limitations can be a catalyst for personal and professional growth. It creates opportunities to seek answers, learn from others, and improve your skills and knowledge. The truth is, no matter how knowledgeable we are, the business world is too complex and nuanced to know it all. Acknowledging your lack of knowledge reflects humility and garners respect from colleagues and superiors who appreciate your openness to new information. We show others that we are building more of a culture of knowledge seekers than a know-it-all culture.
While admitting ‘I don't know’ may initially feel uncomfortable, it offers numerous benefits for effective leadership and organizational success. By embracing vulnerability and prioritizing honesty, leaders can foster trust, collaboration, and innovation within their teams.
Quote of the day: “I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.” ―Socrates
Question: Tell us about a time when you shared how you didn’t know something; how did it impact the situation? Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!
As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.
The following blog in this series 2/5 will focus on practical strategies for sharing when you don’t know.
How do you say, ‘I don’t know?’
